World Cup Rules

With the 2006 finals little more than 2 weeks away, thought it would be a good idea to post some
rules for the Women folk, remember ladies the World Cup is *only* every 4 years, however we have to
put up with Eastenders, Corrie, Brookside, Big Brother, Desperate Housewives, Wife Swap and all the
other crap that's on TV every night of week....................

LIST OF RULES FOR WOMEN

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are
aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the
conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be
totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even
take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose an eye.

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it
crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV,
make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you
to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or
something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer
the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well
as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they
come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am,
unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get
over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you
will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about
football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or
divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only
when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note
I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time
together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen
them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that
requires my attendance because:

a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there
in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games
themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change
the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4
years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League,
Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,

Men of the World


MEN SUCKZ!